Director: Brett Ratner (not as good as Bryan Singer, well duh)Starring: Hugh Jackman (good), Halle Berry (dull), Ian McKellen (good at being bad), Patrick Stewart (good) and many, many, many more...
Production Budget: $210M
Whose side will you be on? Indeed. Following on from the rather good X-Men and X2, the third and final (shyeah right, I'd bet its $100M+ opening weekend in the U.S. on there being more) X-Men movie has a reasonable amount to live up to. Replacing director Bryan (The Usual Suspects) Singer with Brett (Rush Hour) Ratner did not so much increase my anticipation as reduce my expectations, which I suppose made it harder for me to be disappointed.
X3 yet again sees a disagreement between the two factions of mutants, the 'good-guys' led by Patrick Stewart's Prof. Charles Xavier, and the 'bad-guys' led by Ian McKellen's Eric Lensherr/Magneto. And once again this disagreement leads to the near destruction of the world as we know it. Why can't these guys just learn to get along? This time around it's a 'cure' that turns mutants back into regular people, with Magneto deciding that this is yet another attempt by the humans to wipe out mutants, and therefore all humans must die. Throw into the mix the return of Jean Gray (Famke Janssen) as the super-powerful, emotionally desturbed, boyfriend-killing Phoenix and about twenty new mutant characters and you're in for one hell of a super-speedy, porcupine skinned, Goldengate Bridge levitating juggernaut of a ride.
The problem with this film is that there are too many characters, and therefore too many subplots involving teenage angst, love triangles, prodigal sons and other distractions. The main characters, do still get ample screen time even if they don't really contribute to the story, presumably to either apease fanboys or to fulfill contractual obligations (I'm still not sure what the point of Halle Berry's character is after three movies). Sometimes it looks like instead of writing a story, and adding characters where appropriate to the story, they have chosen characters, and then written a series of set-pieces showing off each of their powers, and slapped a story around it. At other times it's as though characters have been inserted into the story to somehow increase the emotional impact, but really, how can one become emotionally attached to a character with five minutes of screen time (see Angel below).
Here is a selection of new characters and how they fit into the story:
Beast (Kelsey Grammar): The mutant ambassador to the White House. He's a bit embarrassing as the blue-skinned/glasses wearing/suited ambassador, but quite cool when he starts kicking arse.
Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones): Magneto's new toughguy. He looks a little weird with his huge body, but is good fun as he runs through walls head first, and the highlight of the movie is his battle with Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page replacing Katie Stuart from X2).
Angel (Ben Foster): Son of the guy who invents the mutant cure, oh, and he's a mutant. Everything that is wrong about this movie is summed up in this character. Corny and overly melodramatic, and more of a plot device than a fully developed character. Oh, and he is a crap mutant - sure he can fly, but I reckon I could beat him with a pair of wing-clipping scissors, or maybe one of those leather thongs falconers use to control their birds.
Callisto (Dania Ramirez): Magneto's new 'flashy' right-hand woman. The badguy equivalent of Halle Berry's Storm. Would you be surprised if I told you they came up against each other one-on-one at some point?
And I have to mention Rebecca Romijn's character Mystique because... well... you know...
The special effects cannot be faulted, but then for that kind of money they bloody well should be good. And that's all they are, good. Not awesome, not mind- or wad-blowing, just good. The major set-piece involving the Golden Gate Bridge is so ludicrous that it's kind of distracting from what is otherwise a reasonably cool standoff on Alcatraz. And I kept wanting to say "Pyro, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!".
The ending keeps the sequel option wide-open, and by doing so ruins the emotional edge it would otherwise have had. Oh, and there is a bonus scene after all of the credits that fans will probably enjoy (if, like me, you couldn't be bothered waiting through the credits, or you saw the film and didn't know about it, there is a good description in the wikepedia entry).
As far as this kind of crap goes, it was OK, I guess. But then I'm more of a D.C. boy anyway.
$$1/2 (in other words, exactly average)
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