X-Men: The Last Stand

Director: Brett Ratner (not as good as Bryan Singer, well duh)
Starring: Hugh Jackman (good), Halle Berry (dull), Ian McKellen (good at being bad), Patrick Stewart (good) and many, many, many more...
Production Budget: $210M

Whose side will you be on? Indeed. Following on from the rather good X-Men and X2, the third and final (shyeah right, I'd bet its $100M+ opening weekend in the U.S. on there being more) X-Men movie has a reasonable amount to live up to. Replacing director Bryan (The Usual Suspects) Singer with Brett (Rush Hour) Ratner did not so much increase my anticipation as reduce my expectations, which I suppose made it harder for me to be disappointed.

X3 yet again sees a disagreement between the two factions of mutants, the 'good-guys' led by Patrick Stewart's Prof. Charles Xavier, and the 'bad-guys' led by Ian McKellen's Eric Lensherr/Magneto. And once again this disagreement leads to the near destruction of the world as we know it. Why can't these guys just learn to get along? This time around it's a 'cure' that turns mutants back into regular people, with Magneto deciding that this is yet another attempt by the humans to wipe out mutants, and therefore all humans must die. Throw into the mix the return of Jean Gray (Famke Janssen) as the super-powerful, emotionally desturbed, boyfriend-killing Phoenix and about twenty new mutant characters and you're in for one hell of a super-speedy, porcupine skinned, Goldengate Bridge levitating juggernaut of a ride.

The problem with this film is that there are too many characters, and therefore too many subplots involving teenage angst, love triangles, prodigal sons and other distractions. The main characters, do still get ample screen time even if they don't really contribute to the story, presumably to either apease fanboys or to fulfill contractual obligations (I'm still not sure what the point of Halle Berry's character is after three movies). Sometimes it looks like instead of writing a story, and adding characters where appropriate to the story, they have chosen characters, and then written a series of set-pieces showing off each of their powers, and slapped a story around it. At other times it's as though characters have been inserted into the story to somehow increase the emotional impact, but really, how can one become emotionally attached to a character with five minutes of screen time (see Angel below).

Here is a selection of new characters and how they fit into the story:

Beast (Kelsey Grammar): The mutant ambassador to the White House. He's a bit embarrassing as the blue-skinned/glasses wearing/suited ambassador, but quite cool when he starts kicking arse.

Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones): Magneto's new toughguy. He looks a little weird with his huge body, but is good fun as he runs through walls head first, and the highlight of the movie is his battle with Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page replacing Katie Stuart from X2).

Angel (Ben Foster): Son of the guy who invents the mutant cure, oh, and he's a mutant. Everything that is wrong about this movie is summed up in this character. Corny and overly melodramatic, and more of a plot device than a fully developed character. Oh, and he is a crap mutant - sure he can fly, but I reckon I could beat him with a pair of wing-clipping scissors, or maybe one of those leather thongs falconers use to control their birds.

Callisto (Dania Ramirez): Magneto's new 'flashy' right-hand woman. The badguy equivalent of Halle Berry's Storm. Would you be surprised if I told you they came up against each other one-on-one at some point?

And I have to mention Rebecca Romijn's character Mystique because... well... you know...

The special effects cannot be faulted, but then for that kind of money they bloody well should be good. And that's all they are, good. Not awesome, not mind- or wad-blowing, just good. The major set-piece involving the Golden Gate Bridge is so ludicrous that it's kind of distracting from what is otherwise a reasonably cool standoff on Alcatraz. And I kept wanting to say "Pyro, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!".

The ending keeps the sequel option wide-open, and by doing so ruins the emotional edge it would otherwise have had. Oh, and there is a bonus scene after all of the credits that fans will probably enjoy (if, like me, you couldn't be bothered waiting through the credits, or you saw the film and didn't know about it, there is a good description in the wikepedia entry).

As far as this kind of crap goes, it was OK, I guess. But then I'm more of a D.C. boy anyway.

$$1/2 (in other words, exactly average)

Mission: Impossible 3

Director: JJ Abrams(Felicity, Alias, Lost)
Apperances: Felicity (Felicity), Eric Weiss(Alias), Flight Attendant #2(Lost)
Production Budget: USD$150M

What do the three pictures on the right have in common? Answer, they're all COOL. When going to see a movie that was made for over $150M, you can't expect the producers to spend $140M on the script and $10M on the action. The more likely distribution is to have $5M on the plot and $145M on COOL.

Being the third installment of the M:i franchise, this movie works on an already proven formula. (Just like for Bond films). We not only see one infiltration operation, but three. We not only see that patented face first drop from a wire once, but twice. Add a storyline where the agent tries to hide his work from his wife and his co-workers ribbing him about it. Combine in COOL guns(H&K G36E), COOL locations(Shanghai), COOL hotties(Felicity), a plot twist and you've blown your $150M.

Okay, top 3 COOL scenes:
1. Swinging from building top to building top, landing on your back, sliding backwards while taking out 2 former Red Army soldiers, spinning around, and stopping yourself on the very last edge.

2. Lip reading. Once at the beginning to then be linked to a crucial plot direction later on.

3. An older, but still hot, Felicity firing a H&K P9S.

$$$(out of 5)

Continuing with the trilogy theme, my next movie will be X3(Hugh Jackman), not to be confused with xXx(Vin Diesel) or a triple X(crazy horse).

Brick

Director: Ryan Johnson (also writer)
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt (the kid from 3rd rock from
     the sun)
     Nora Zehetner (girl at party in American Pie 2)
     Lucas Haas (saves the world in Mars Attacks!)
     Emilie de Ravin (the pregnant Aussie girl in Lost)
Production Budget: $0.5M

When his girlfriend (de Ravin) is murdered, Brendan (Gordon-Levitt) goes in search of the truth behind the killing. He does this the only way he knows how, by asking tough questions, and having the crap beaten out of him repeatedly. He slowly insinuates himself in with the local drug dealers, headed by the mysterious Pin (Haas), and the pieces start falling into place. This is set in and around a Southern California high school, but with Femme Fatales, coded messages, and language more reminiscent of The Maltese Falcon than the O.C., this is no lame-arse American Pie rip-off high school film.

The central mystery is intriguingly played out. Brendan doesn't give much away, only really speaking when he is asking questions of others. We don't even find out what the 'Brick' is until a good way into the film (and if you are wondering, it's not the shit-a kind). And unlike The Da Vinci Code, it does not pound you over the head with its 'revelations'. Instead, you have to actually pay attention in order to fully appreciate the plot machinations. And best of all, it makes you want to see it again (take that Ron Howard).

It all sounds a bit like kids acting out adult roles, but Johnson plays to this with the few adult interactions in the film. The Pin's mother is particularly hilarious - reminiscent of Marge Simpson and "Are you boys through playing war? Then here are some cupcakes".

Writer/director Ryan Johnson has done a brilliant job with this film. You never get the feeling that it was filmed on money raised from families and friends. It looks great, it's funny, occasionally shocking and so very cool. A death scene is particularly evocative. The cast is fantastic. The script is written in old-school noir stylings ( e.g. "Throw one at me if you want, hash head. I've got all five senses and I slept last night, that puts me six up on the lot of you."), and the actors speak the lines like they own them. Gordon-Levitt is particularly charismatic as the main man.

It's not for everyone, and that is why you should go and see it. Now!

$$$$1/2 (out of 5)

Please Follow The Usher To Your Seat

Hello and welcome to our change of direction. This site previously detailed the diet challange between Daryl and I, and since that has been run and won (congratulations again to Holland), we had to find something else to do with this site. We could not think of any better way to show off our new found figures than by sitting in the dark.

Welcome to FilmQuest. A site dedicated answering the ultimate question of Budget vs Blockbuster. Easyl (along with a new figure a new alter ego for Daryl) and I, as you can read from the title, each have differing opinions on what consitiutes a good movie. We have each been dragged into one anothers movies once too often in the past only to walk out in the end wanting our two hours back. In the coming weeks/month/whenever we get around to it, we will each be reviewing our criteria-ed movie. We hope you can stick around and enjoy this site as much as we enjoying watching our own choice of movies. Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions on what movie we should review next.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Holland -vs- Woon is changing. This is a post to show you what the original page looked like.