The Silencer

Director: Steve Lawson, Siman Wyndam
Starring: Glenn Salvage, Maye Choo, Jim Clossick, Steve Lawson
Production Budget: ~US$5,000
Running Time: 75 min
Released: 2006

Glenn Salvage plays Michael Eastmann, a policeman who is framed during a botched drugs bust, shot and then left for dead (not to be mistaken by Left for Dead, another movie starring Salvage, where he isn't - left for dead that is). Horribly injured but not dead, he is rehabilitated and then sets out for vengeance. The only problem is he can no longer talk, and his spine is so badly damaged that a hard knock will paralyse him for life (OK, that's two problems). His wife (Choo) grows distant and his former colleagues shun him, but he can still kick arse.

Director Steve Lawson and star Glenn Salvage were both involved in Left for Dead, which was an overlong mess. The Silencer is the exact opposite, a short, neat action movie. The action scenes are great, including a great moment in an underpass where a bunch of thugs hassling a lady meet their worst, silent, motorcycle helmeted, leather clad nightmare. The story is pretty clichèd (although it flows well), but that's not the point, this is a movie about revenge, and it is served up with quality. This movie was made for virtually nothing (Lawson describes it as the cost of a family holiday). All indoor scenes were set in Lawson's house, where one room was continually remodelled for different scenes, and the cast was kept nice and small and mostly volunteered their services. And good for them too. Everyone looks good in this; Salvage has real presence and just a hint of charisma, the martial arts and stunts are awesome, and the directors show that they can really direct.

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." - Gloria Leonard

One of the most obvious things that shows up a low budget movie is the lighting. The other martial arts movies I saw at Bloodbath, Left for Dead, and Intergalactic Combat were both notable for their bad lighting. The lighting in The Silencer is so much better, with light streeming through windows and a subtle glow on characters faces. Good lighting is one of those things that's difficult to describe, but obvious when you see it. This was $5,000 very well spent. If Left for Dead was martial arts porn, then this is martial arts erotica.

When they can make a $5,000 movie look like a $500,000 movie, imagine what they could do with $500,000. I am curious, and hopefully The Silencer will get the film-makers noticed by some people with some cash. So pay attention, all right!

$$$

Intergalactic Combat

Director: Ray Brady
Starring: Gordon Alexander, Elizabeth Tan
Production Budget: ~US$200,000
Running Time: 90 min
Released: 2006

By the same director as Boy Meets Girl but a very different movie, Intergalactic Combat is a movie that sounded great, but disappointed. It has an interesting, if rather juvenile premise. The Earth is invited to submit a team of warriors to an unarmed combat tournament against teams from other planets, with the losing planet destroyed, or something. However, not only do we not get see this intergalactic battle, we don't even get to see the world championships, just the selection trials for the UK team. Like the previously reviewed Dark Intruder, this is actually a T.V. pilot, although not funded by any T.V. station. The plan is for the first season of the series to feature the UK team travelling the world battling against other countries, with the second season concentrating on the interplanetary battle.

The CGI work is pretty basic and the dialogue is terrible, but after all, this is a dumb action film, and the action scenes are pretty well done. I'm not a huge fan of martial arts, unless it is being done by Jacky Chan, but Brady has obviously gotten a pretty decent bunch of fighters together, and the premise works to show off their skills. The characters are interesting enough (big black guy, former world champ coming out of retirement, oriental guy, young girl who learned to fight to get away from bully's, twin's; one good, one bad - that sort of thing) that kids could probably get into it. If made into a series, it would require a much bigger budget (Brady admitted as much at the screening), especially if they intend on having humans battling against CG aliens, which they do.

The main thing that bothered me about this movie was the following quote, taken from the IMDB summary, and featured in the Bloodbath programme.

"An action movie shot in real time that plays out like a shoot-em-up video game. Stunning camera work, complex and always moving. An un-relentless action film that will attract, through word of mouth, all those hooked on gaming on their PC's and drag them back into the cinema auditoriums." - bRAdY

I suppose there is nothing wrong with the director writing his own plot summary, and talking up his "stunning camera work", and the "un-relentless action", however, the phrase "plays out like a shoot-em-up video game" is just plain misleading. As any geek knows, shoot 'em up video games involve a single character or - more commonly - spaceship moving through various levels shooting things up. Intergalactic Combat's real time element involves cutting from character to character as they have battles with a variety of adversaries in different set locations. This is somewhat reminiscent of versus fighting games like Street Fighter II, but certainly bears no resemblance to any shoot 'em up. You need to get your terminology right, Ray! People (like me and the Comic Book Guy) are very particular about this kind of thing. I can assure you, no-one ever recovers from a "Worst. Episode. Ever" put-down, so don't risk it.

"There is no emoticon for what I am feeling!"

As a low-budget pilot for a children's television show in the vain of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, this works. As something I would ever want to see again in a million years, it doesn't.

$1/2

Left for Dead

Director: Ross Boyask
Starring: Glenn Salvage, Andy Prior, Adam Chapman
Production Budget: Small, self funded.
Running Time: 105 min
Released: 2004

I enjoyed this movie for the first 20 min, up until the time the DVD screening at Bloodbath crashed. It featured a long and inventive battle scene set outdoors in an industrial area in a fictional UK city; loads of Kung Fu, an assortment of weapons, and splatterings of blood. Once the projectionist sorted out the problems and the rest of the movie screened, I was in for a disappointment. The next 80 minutes feature about 5 minutes of unoriginal storyline (mobster thug decides to retire, boss won't let him, sends other thugs to kill him, they fail, and thug sets about enacting revenge) and the rest wall-to-wall martial arts fighting.

"It becomes quickly apparent that the film's main remit is to screen as many fight sequences as humanly possible, but one can have too much of a good thing and ultimately sometimes less is more" - Bloodbath programme notes.

This may work as a CV padding exercise for the director and performers to show off as many of their skills as possible, but as a movie, I found it pretty boring. Practically the whole thing was just people fighting. While the fight scenes are well choreographed, the overall production values are uninspiring. The Silencer, which was shown the following night, features the same lead (Salvage), and many of the same performers and elements as Left for Dead, and is so much better, thanks to a better story, better production and better direction - my review of this should be up in the next week or so.

This movie is basically a porn movie with martial arts replacing sex. It has bad lighting, bad acting, but will work for those looking for some cheap thrills, in the form of people beating the crap out of each other.

$$

The Witches Hammer

Director: James Eaves
Starring: Claudia Coulter, Johnathan Sidgwick, Stephanie Beacham
Production Budget: Unknown (small)
Running Time: 93 min

A young woman is killed, then genetically modified into a vampire by government scientists and forced to work in their vampire slaying department. When her agency is destroyed by vampires and witches, she hooks up with a different set of witches to find an ancient tome called Malleus Maleficarum or, in English, The Witches' Hammer (what do you know, I was right about the bad grammar in the title) before the bad guys get it. This main story is interspersed with the back-stories of a number of the supplementary characters, and the story of the book itself.

A fanboys wet dream, this movie has it all: vampires, witches, demons, ninjas and circus freaks. The producers are obviously big fans of Buffy, Highlander and Blade.

There isn't much new here. It very much resembles an early episode of Buffy, with special effects to match. Coulter is effective in the main role, being tall, athletic and sexy, and Stephanie Beacham adds some class as the head witch. There are a few inventive set pieces, and a clever torture scene involving a vampire and a sun-bed, and the back-stories look nice.

A few things don't make sense, like at the beginning of the film I am sure she was attacked by a vampire. Why then, was it necessary to genetically modify her into a vampire? Anybody? Also, while it is admirable to incorporate historical facts into the movie, it's a little odd that the Witches' Hammer is this movie is a handbook for witches, when the actual Malleus Maleficarum was a witch-hunters handbook. This is the kind of thing the Buffy crowd are going to pick up on. I feel sorry for the director and actors if they ever find themselves at a science fiction convention.

Least. Historically. Accurate. Movie. Ever.

Not a bad effort, but the concept is perhaps a bit ambitious, and the small budget does hurt (did I just say that?). It lacks the wit of Buffy, but people who are into that kind of thing will find plenty to like here.

$$1/2

The Seven Samurai

Director: Akira Kurosawa
Starting: Takashi Shimura, Toshirô Mifune, Yoshio Inaba, Seiji Miyaguchi, Minoru Chiaki, Daisuke Katô, Isao Kimura
Production Budget: $500,000

I was planning on seeing Superman Returns last weekend for my big budget action movie review, but things unfortunately didn't pan out. So in lieu of that, I've decided to go back to the beginning, the beginning of all action movies that is. The Seven Samurai, made in 1954, is touted as being the very first action movie. Ranked at number 7 on the IMDb top 250, I had high expectations that this movie was going to be an all out sword slashing, face pummeling, blood gushing samurai romp. Let me tell you now, it is not. The first piece of sword play comes almost 45 minutes into the movie and without a hint of that Hollywood metal clinging and clanging.

The basic plot runs like this. A farmer inadvertently hears the bandit's plans to attack his village after their barley harvest. They gather round and seek the advice of an elder who tells them to seek out samurai who are willing to help them in return for 3 meals a day. The first part of the movie deals with the recruitment and each samurai(s) character introduction. It would have been insanely boring if all 7 samurai were ruthless warriors, instead we had a commander, a youngen, a perfectionist, a crazy man, a joker, commander's friend and a red shirt. They return to the village and work on training the farmers and building defense. The final battle sequence does not disappoint, long enough to make the whole 206 minutes worth it.

The movie works on subtle cinematic techniques. Suspense is built with clever cinematography; close up on faces, body language, environmental effects. All taken for granted in today's movies. Action sequences are rudimentary, not like the scripted and rehearsed scenes nowadays where combatants SOMEHOW know where their opponent is going to strike next. They are also filmed in wide angle so you can actually see what is going on. Dialog, even though it is in Japanese, is well delivered, interspersed with jokes to not make the whole film too dire or desperate. The only negative points I have about the movie are the farmer characters. They can't all be that scared and sad!

The Seven Samurai has been consistently listed as one of the top movies of all time. This, of course, is subject to other peoples tastes, likes and dislikes. If you had never planned on seeing this movie, I would recommend you find the time to do so, even if it is just to see what all the fuss is about.

$$$$